I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Randomize
