I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
