Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
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