she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
