I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
how does that bad decision feel?
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