You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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