you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
