Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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