Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
