Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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