You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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