I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize