she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
