dude i'm inner monologue high
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize