it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
she smelled like a LAN party
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
