I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Randomize
