U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
