My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize