i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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