Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
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