the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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