alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
