This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Randomize
