Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
