as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
