I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I'm at about main and main street
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
