She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
