so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
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