Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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