woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
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