finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
