why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
