i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
