i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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