Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
we're making bets on your personal life
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize