Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
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