i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
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