Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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