the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
farters have to be the big spoon...
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
