Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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