I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Randomize
