The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Michael Bay diarrhea
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
