let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
