I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
