i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Randomize
