Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize