Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I'm experimenting with sincerity
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I think we might need a safe word for this...
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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