I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
