Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
