omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
