Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
