i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
