my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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