where am i from again
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
