Well douche your snatch and let's go!
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize
