My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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