I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I deserve this hangover.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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