Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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