Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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