Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Randomize