dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize