Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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