someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
