Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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