What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
