I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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